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  • on 20.10.2016
  • by kmspks

“How to manage difficult people with loving-kindness” by Venerable Ren Xu on 13 Oct 2016

Developing loving-kindness is to cultivate positive emotions towards others as well as to ourselves, our living environment and the world. It may be easy to love the environment, animals and everything else but we hate another fellow human being or find it hard to develop the love for ourselves. Sometimes we blame ourselves more than necessary, so we should also cultivate loving-kindness for ourselves.

Why do we need to cultivate loving-kindness, Metta Bhavana? It is to bring more harmony into our relationships with others and the world and to eliminate conflict and resistance in this world, also deepen our relationships and connections with others. By embracing others, as a result, we will reduce conflict between oneself and others. Loving-kindness also help us overcome resentment and hurt. We will be kinder and more forgiving towards others instead being exaggerating the faults of others.

Who has never made a mistake in their life? It is impossible that no one has ever made a mistake in their life. Through the cultivation of loving kindness, we will learn to appreciate others and focus more on their positive qualities. As a result, we begin to develop a positive mental attitude towards others and life. When negative emotions arise, in fact, the first person we hurt is ourselves. We are the first person to feel uncomfortable, uneasy, our blood flows rapidly, our face turned red and at this moment when we look into the mirror we see the ugliest person in the world. When we develop anger, toxic is disseminated into our blood stream, so in the long run, we develop sickness.

In short to manage difficult people is to cultivate loving kindness. More than often, we exaggerate faults of others instead of embracing the imperfections of others or ourselves. When we start to think deeper, no one is one hundred percent evil or one hundred good, it really depends on which aspect, we choose to focus on. Do you pay more attention to the positive or negative side of yourself and the others more?

 

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